For example, the original Soft Cell "Sex Dwarf" video, which most people think is completely unavailable; as banned by local Trading Standards and in piss-poor third generation French VHS quality (for no obvious reason; the video isn't as nasty as, say, NIN 'Broken Movie'.) Oddly, the video release version of "Sex Dwarf" isn't on YouTube, although an Old Grey Whistle Test performance with more listenable audio is.

It's nice that there's a place on the Internet where we can watch this stuff on demand, because otherwise it's a trawl through godawful file sharing outlets hoping we'll find a .mpg – videos are somewhat rare, especially ones like "Sex Dwarf" that weren't even properly released on VHS. Plus, YouTube allows us to find stuff like this, which you'd normally never see even on the best of DC++ hubs. I love it.

So once again, barring either hell freezing over or the second coming of Jesus, the only decent official England football song will remain World in Motion – which was an accident anyway.

No surprises there, but they could at least have picked someone like the Kaiser Chiefs who would hopefully have produced something fun. Even the awful pun ("World At Your Feet") suggests it's going to be a toecurler, but we can only live in hope that one of the unofficial singles is bearable. Especially since England, as usual, will probably survive to the quarter finals and then get knocked out on penalties, meaning for prolonged exposure to the song.

But then, football in Britain is wrong, and has been for a long time – concerned only about itself and not about the people that blindly fund it. And when they look at things pop-cultural, it invariably gets it wrong – and how (backing something completely unmemorable against Three Lions in 1996, just as the most obvious example.) There are many more important things to complain about in British football – like how our ticket prices are a lot higher than continental Europe's – but this is just the most obvious example. Oh, New Order, where art thou?