Adverts from hell

I’m back in a Location Up North and thus back in the world of four channels, no Freeview and unskippable adverts, and there’s a few that have been annoying me repeatedly – Peugeot’s Rugby World Cup bumpers are major annoyances already and we’re only two games in (shame about that Italian non-try), and I want to seriously inhibit whoever made the talking animal technology from Babe cheap enough for insurance hawkers to use in their advertising.

(I am also, as you can see from this, somewhat lacking in good blog post ideas, hence this.)

The point here is: why do adverts seek to annoy? It is of course hard to make a piece of film that, shown repeatedly every fifteen minutes, that won’t annoy, but a lot of them seem to want to do it deliberately. Why do people buy stuff that seeks to annoy them into doing so? It’s perplexing.

I really do not get why people would want to use a Shiela’s Wheels type business from the image that they put out. I suppose this goes in the same questions bin as “why do people phone 090 numbers”, really, a question that I would also have trouble answering. I suppose I must think differently in some way, although I cannot think how.

Gervais’ PR meets BBC Scotland, has lunch

This is some story, isn’t it…

  • Ricky Gervais does really expensive show, crows about it (the nastily smug “Ricky Gervais at Edinburgh Castle is sold out” poster promoting his ‘Fame’ DVD taking up most of the West End of Princes Street has been up for weeks now).
  • Needless to say, he gets criticised for it by people – not least because he’s not the greatest stand-up in the world, as anyone who suffered through his ten minutes of the Diana concert – which came after he sold all these tickets – will happily back up.
  • Also, it’s the same show as he’s been doing on tour for a long time, only at Edinburgh Castle.
  • To deflect this, he’s giving some cash to Macmillan. Which would be fine, except…
  • …he’s not telling how much money Macmillan are getting until next week, when it’s obvious that BBC Scotland won’t report it.
  • Also, this has only been given after the gig. Hmm.

So in other words this is a fluff story planted by Gervais’ PR to try and put out some goodwill until he actually does give the money. Eight thousand tickets at £37.50 is £300,000; minus staging costs, I’d expect any good donation for this to be in the mid-to-high five-figure range and I doubt very much it’ll be that high. Prove me wrong, Ricky, prove me wrong.

How long has it been since the BBC started using…

…social networking bookmarks? Every page on BBC News now seems to have a bookmark-on section that I’ve never noticed before at the foot of the article with addition links to del.icio.us, digg, reddit, Facebook and StumbleUpon. I’ve never quite seen the point of these things, since anyone serious about social bookmarking has a Firefox plugin (of which I use the one for del.icio.us to produce the link list on the right hand panel) or equivalent to do it for them, but it is at least an interesting discovery.

Tony Wilson, 1950-2007

Just on News 24 now. Manager and record mogul for some of the greatest bands ever, the person who first put the Sex Pistols on TV and long-time reporter on Manchester’s local Granada Reports. It had been coming for a while, but the news is still a shock. And damn, Wikipedia are quick…

Full tribute appearing in this space soon.

Just as a matter of amusement…

Here is the autoresponse I received for my complaint about the BBC cutting short the Spinal Tap and Metallica sets at Live Earth (but leaving James Blunt’s untouched.)

Thank you for your e-mail.

We recognise that some viewers of the ‘Live Earth’ concert were annoyed that the sets by Metallica and Spinal Tap were not shown in full.

We were keen to show elements of all concerts from around the world and took editorial decisions in advance and on the day, about the times and places we would do that.

The concerts were very fluid in London and around the world and there was certainly no prejudice about heavy metal music or any other music; just a determination to do the best for the entire audience watching on BBC TWO and One during the day. This is inevitably a fine balance and we cannot please everyone all of the time. However, we of course apologise if any particular viewers were disappointed.

Please be assured that your comments have been fully registered and added to our daily audience log. This is an internal document that is made available to the web production teams and senior BBC management.

Thank you again for taking the time to contact the BBC.

The thing is, they’d already shown the Rihanna clip they played over the Spinal Tap all-bass “Big Bottom” in between a few artists earlier on that day, and a few of the many terrible pause-ridden between-act interviews could have used Crowded House being played over them. Plus, they had hours of time to use for that sort of thing during all the delays in the US gig. And it’s odd that they only did it to the acts that were actually popular and whose appearance was special, isn’t it?

They should have shown the full London gig. No interruptions, no zero-information interviews. Clips from other concerts and/or the short films in between bands. No excuses.

[edited: aargh, late-night unspotted malapropisms. Corrected.]

Metallica fans may wish…

…to complain to the BBC about BBC1 cutting off Enter Sandman from Live Earth to instead play Katie Melua and Crowded House from other LE gigs.

Spinal Tap fans may also wish to put in a complaint here – they’ve cut one song from the end here to bloody Rihanna and interactive isn’t working on Telewest. It’s not like there isn’t enough time, really.

An open letter to Virgin Media

A complaint letter I sent recently, posted without comment.

I have been a Telewest customer since August 2003. I’ve had pretty much the same package ever since then – now branded TV L/broadband L/phone M. I was very happy with Telewest’s service quality and the breadth of the service.

Since the takeover by ntl and the rebranding as Virgin Media, I have been experiencing a number of issues:

1. The complete inability to supply what was a previously excellent 4Mbit broadband connection between January and April 2007. This was apparently due to an overloaded UBR, causing slowing even at off-peak times to 300Kbit/s and below – making sites such as youtube completely unusable. Upload speed, on the other hand, was perfectly fine (and exceeded download speed a lot of the time).

The fact that there seemed to be a complete lack of updates on this major fault internally – your helpful newsgroup support were continually only able to tell me that the repair was in “planning” and couldn’t find out any more than that – was the largest annoyance here. My broadband connection is very important to me, much more than any of the other services I take from VM, and it was simply not worthy of the £25/month I paid for it – especially since in my area competition from local loop unbundled services (eg. Be Unlimited or Sky) is just a call to BT away.

2. The reorganisation of the TV packages. I am not someone who complained about the loss of Sky One; as a matter of fact, the way VM dealt with the loss of Sky One had my full support and may well have prevented me from cancelling due to the broadband fault. However, I have been irritated by the recent, unheralded and unwarned of change to the TV L package that has seen the removal of MTV Hits, The Box and VH1 Classic and their replacement with MTV UK and VH1. I accept that these are “better” brand names for a TV package, but this brings the number of channels that show music videos without filling half the screen with opaque junk or relying on useless celebrity programming to zero (from one: VH1 Classic). With the price rise in TV L, the gain of just one channel (Bloomberg, which doesn’t interest me) and the fact that certain channels which are free to air on satellite are only on the XL package on VM (Zone Horror, for example) I’m finding this very hard to take.

3. While I do appreciate the free weekend calls on basic telephone line rental, per-minute billing is intrinsically unfair. Switching back from the fairer per-second billing has been another annoyance, especially since it was hidden on the small print of the flyer.

4. The introduction of bandwidth shaping on broadband services: I don’t disagree with the need for curbing heavy users on what is after all a shared connection, I just disagree with the fact that no-one has actually been told about it. Sure, the newsgroups know and it’s all over the user support websites, but I haven’t received any email telling me about this major change in my broadband service’s provision from unlimited 4Mbit to unlimited 4Mbit between midnight and 4pm, and I feel that it is entirely unacceptable that only those who read the newsgroups or support forums know about it.

5. The special deals being given to customers who complain about the loss of Sky One are particularly irritating right now. This is it in a nutshell: there are forum threads pretty much everywhere on the net right now encouraging people to call into VM, complain about the loss of Sky One (which, of course, they don’t really care about, otherwise they’d already have Sky) and get a better deal.

There are people getting L broadband/XL TV/L phone for £35/mo – this apparently exists as an internal designation called “package 9”. I’m paying £47.50/mo for L/L/M, and £12.50/mo is a considerable amount of money for me to be paying more for an inferior service. If you’re going to give deals to people, don’t hide them – give them to everyone. Personally I would be very happy with this, but I’m not sure how long I’m going to be in a VM area (my university course is finishing soon) and do not want to be tied down to a 12-month contract that I might not be able to keep to.

6. Your email support web form (at http://help2.virginmedia.com/assets/html/
customer_feedback/customer_feedback_querytype_2.html
) only accepts a certain number of characters in a message. This of course is mentioned nowhere on the web form itself and the textbox accepts many more; thus when trying to send this letter electronically I received an autoreply telling me that “due to a technical issue we only received part of your email”. Since you do not provide a real email address for receiving customer messages, this has forced me into sending this by postal mail. Providing an actual email address read by people would be the best option here, but please at least fix this problem.

(From the two days late auto-responses I’ve been getting to my cut off complaints it appears to strip line spaces from the text as well, which would have made this letter unreadable in any case.)

7. The most recent irritation, however, has been the emailed announcement about the change to broadband technical support services from free (through 150) to a 25p/minute premium rate number. Even considering that you will not be allowed to put people on hold, the various calls I made to you over issues that were entirely your fault in the early part of this year would have made about £10+ in extra income if they were charged for in this way – the time taken up by various computer rebooting, etc., despite the fact that it was the equipment provided by Telewest that obviously was not working.

Your competition in my area and in most other cable areas, Be Unlimited ADSL2+, has a freephone support service. Sky has an 0870 number. Premium rate support is simply unacceptable ethically; I am not going to pay 25p/minute for issues which are your fault. If this policy stays I am afraid that, despite everything, I will have to cancel service.

8. In a sense then the main problem I am having with VM that I didn’t have with Telewest is the lack of information. Faults are in planning for months, TV packages are changed without any warning, broadband packages are changed without warning, “package 9” only is known about through hearsay, the entire way my phone is charged was changed in the small print, and then when you try to complain the email web form silently cuts off most of your message. When Telewest did things like that they sent letters or emails, or at least gave slightly more information than “it’s in planning” when you asked them why. I’ve never had a fault that lasted more than 24 hours before the takeover. And support for their products was always free.

What I would like, therefore is for my service to improve back to the level it was for my first three and a half years as a customer. If you can’t do that, then I and others like me will be forced into alternatives, and I really don’t want to have to do that; while I’ve got too much of an ethical conviction to go to Sky (or lie to you that I want to go there), these don’t apply to BT and ADSL2+ LLU. I know how good my service can be. Can you get it back?

First time in ages…

Manhunt 2 has been refused a certificate by the BBFC. Rockstar get a chance at an appeal.

To be honest, is anyone really surprised by this? I’ve been expecting it since Rockstar revealed that they’d removed the coercion aspect from the game – basically, removing all the context – and it seems the BBFC feel the same way.

[David Cooke, the BBFC’s director, said that] “the game’s unrelenting focus on stalking and brutal slaying and the sheer lack of alternative pleasures on offer to the gamer, together with the different overall narrative context, contribute towards differentiating this submission from the original Manhunt game.”

Have Rockstar finally gone too far? Well, put it this way, if Jack Thompson hadn’t been sued into oblivion he’d be crowing about this right now as proof that he was right. Shame really.